It's hard to not feel so guilty when you can't get up and clean the house! This is my only job and I can't even do it! I've read a couple articles on this disease and have to kind of laugh when I read that it ONLY causes pain. Then the next paragraph says that it's a very debilitating disease. I guess if it won't kill you then it's no big deal. But it does take your life. This isn't something I wanted to have in my life. When you can't go do things with your family, are child it makes it very hard. You feel so guilty, and at times like a bad mother and wife. I must say that as hard as it is on me it's also very hard on my family, and I'm very lucky that they are still here. Some people don't understand or can't understand living in pain. I've had some say that I'm so lazy, and it hurts because I would love to be able to do anything! I know it's sometimes hard to understand things you can't see. I always here but you look good. Like I said you can't see the insides of people to see what the pain or disease is. I'm very thankful for the family and the few friends that do understand and are still here for me. I've had many "friends" go away because they don't understand. Some think your making stuff up, to get attention. I wish I was making it up so I didn't really have the pain! I've even had people ask why do you keep going in and having surgeries, and don't think you need them are you addicted to them? What? First off Dr.'s don't and won't do a surgery if you don't need it. And since every time I have one they find something, then I guess I did need it. I would much rather not have a surgery, but if there is even a 5% chance of being out of pain I'm in!
Any way enough of that! Thanks to all have stayed and supported me.
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